I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

I like definitive things.

Any day you had gym class was a weird school day. It started off normal. You had English, Social Studies, Geometry, then suddenly your in Lord of the Flies for 40 minutes. Your hanging from a rope, you have hardly any clothes on, teachers are yelling at you, kids are throwing dodge balls at you and snapping towels - you're trying to survive. And then it's Science,Language, and History. Now that is a weird day.

The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.

Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?

The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.