I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.

I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup?

There is no more embarrassing thing in my life than the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, 'I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.'

I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.