I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?

See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.

If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?