I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.

I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.

I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.

What's the deal with Ovaltine? It comes in a round container, you put it in a round glass, why don't they call it Roundtine?

I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.

Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.