I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.

You can be passionate about anything.

Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper, writing a line on the back of a napkin. That is the most fun comedians ever have

I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.

Folks who go through the tabloids ought to have to be lied to.

Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.

Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.