There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don't have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
Jerry SeinfeldThe Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. โCome on, buddy, letโs go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, heโs got a spoon. Back off, Iโve got the toe clippers right here.
Jerry SeinfeldWell, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
Jerry SeinfeldA bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Jerry Seinfeld