There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined.

What's the deal with Ovaltine? It comes in a round container, you put it in a round glass, why don't they call it Roundtine?

I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.