Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings

The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

I was the best man at the wedding... If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

Have you ever seen that guy who has the record for fattest man in the world? Bob Hughes, the fattest man in the world... 1400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go.