The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.
Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper, writing a line on the back of a napkin. That is the most fun comedians ever have