See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.

If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"