All magic is 'Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.'

Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.

After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.

I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup?

I love advertising because I love lying.

Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.