Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.
Jerry SeinfeldThere is no such thing as an attention span. There is only the quality of what you are viewing. This whole idea of an attention span is, I think, a misnomer. People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
Jerry SeinfeldNothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
Jerry SeinfeldLife is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.
Jerry Seinfeld