It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.

I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.

I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.

I love advertising because I love lying. I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy.

What's the deal with Ovaltine? It comes in a round container, you put it in a round glass, why don't they call it Roundtine?

I love advertising because I love lying.

There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.