Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.

I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

I like definitive things.

If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.