The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.

I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.

Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.

I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.