I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
Jerry SeinfeldYou can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?' 'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way. 'When do you get off work?' 'Around 3 miles.'
Jerry SeinfeldWhy is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?
Jerry SeinfeldLooking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.
Jerry SeinfeldThe peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
Jerry SeinfeldYou know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.
Jerry Seinfeld