What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men know that we have weak sales resistance. We're constantly buying shoes that hurt us, pants that don't fit right. Men think, 'Obviously I can be talked into anything. What if I accidentally wander into some sort of homosexual store thinking it's a shoe store and the salesmen says, 'Just hold this guy's hand, walk around a little bit, see how it feels. No obligation, no pressure, just try it.'
Jerry SeinfeldI have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry SeinfeldAccording to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry SeinfeldSo let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an รฉclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."
Jerry SeinfeldI'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.
Jerry Seinfeld