My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.

Hollywood never knew there was a Vietnam War until they made the movie.

My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

The worst thing in this business is to be thought of as a no-talent.

I loved the idea of touching base with an audience.

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.