I was in and out of comas until I was nine and I would lose entire days and weeks. The novelty of being able to really do stuff hasn't worn off - I still feel like I'm making up for lost time.

Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you! Garfield: Feed me.

The understatement is the English contribution to comedy.

In my head, the sky is blue, the grass is green and cats are orange.

It's amazing what one can accomplish when one doesn't know what one can't do.

We have a group of people now who think they own the state. Its disgusting.

I thought you were dead, Mr. McCandles.