My dream in life is to write the one gag that makes everyone in the world laugh.

Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway.

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.

Cats are anthropomorphised in art because they are so laid back that you automatically attribute human thoughts and feelings to them.

I was very happy and honored to create the Professor Garfield Foundation with Ball State to make reading fun.

When all else fails, look cute.

I thought if I could create a convincing cat I could say and do anything I wanted on the human condition.