Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.

"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody

Stand-up used to be much more of a form combat. Heckling was much more common [in the '90s]. And I couldn't get stage time, and so I would go out to Pip's in Sheepshead Bay.

It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.

Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.

I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.