I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

Manhattan's probably one of the bluest parts in the country, and Indiana's definitely one of the redder states. I have sympathy for both sides.

I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.

Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?

Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.

If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. "Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill."

But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.