I never went to church when I was in college, either.

I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.

The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some creative fulfillment, which you do on a nightly basis as a comedian, it's hard to give that up just to be the wacky neighbor on a show.

If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out.

I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.