There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It's just different shapes of pasta.

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.

When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.

Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?

I definitely write about things that are universal, that everyone can identify with. You're supposed to write about things you're passionate about and I guess I am a foodie. I do love food and it's kind of like I'm an eccentric observationalist guy. To make it kind of universal, I try a lot of different things. When I first started writing this, I was like, 'No food.' Then, you know, it just always goes there.