There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules.

You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.

I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'

Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.

Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.

My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'