There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

I grew up in Sheepshead Bay.

Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled water! Haha, they're selling bottled water! ... I guess I'll try it. Ah, this is good, this is more watery than water. Yeah, this has got a water kick to it."

I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.

Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I'm a dad who had no idea what he's doing.

I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.