My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.

I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.

I come from a very big family. Nine parents.

I used to have to do readings in church, and it was terrifying. I would never have my glasses. The words are printed so small even Superman would be nervous. And you’re reading from the Bible. It’s not like you can just make something up and improvise. “A reading from the letter of Saint Paul to the Corinthians. Uhhh. Dear Corinthians, … How was your weekend? Sure is hot here. Uh, tell Jesus ‘Hey.’ This is the word of the Lord.