The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone.

Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I'm a dad who had no idea what he's doing.

You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.

I've always been somebody that it takes me longer to learn things, but once I learn them... I'm like a quarterback that plays best in the fourth quarter.

Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.