You can never find the right bowling ball. This one's too heavy. This one's good but its pink!

I left the Midwest thinking I didn't fit in. But when I got to New York, I realized how truly Midwestern I was.

The entertainment business is such a strange, crazy perception business that you're either given way too much respect, like people saying, "You should be the head of the sitcom!" Or you're given no respect, where they're like, "You should audition to be the garbage man that lives four houses down."

Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.

It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia: 4-H.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.