"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody

Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?

Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.

Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate... being alone.

I think the worst professional advice I received was this kind of unspoken message of "sit back and wait your turn," or "sit back and wait and let other people do things."

Stand-up used to be much more of a form combat. Heckling was much more common [in the '90s]. And I couldn't get stage time, and so I would go out to Pip's in Sheepshead Bay.

Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.