Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.

The idea of having a large family, I definitely had a romantic notion of it.

I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."

It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

I've been outed as a Christian.