Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.

I didn't think that it's something that would happen. I didn't think I would be in the position, emotionally or financially, to be able to do that. But I've been lucky [to have big family].

I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.

I realize I look very hip hop but I'm really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor.

That's not to say that I'm a well-informed Catholic. I'm still in idiot.

Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant.

I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. [...] There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross' type of standup.