I realize I look very hip hop but I'm really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor.
Jim GaffiganYou could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.
Jim GaffiganI love the impatience of New York... You ever had somebody not ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know, like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time.
Jim GaffiganAs I go on in standup, I keep being described as cleaner and cleaner as I do each hour, they're like, 'It's unbelievable how clean,' 'He's the cleanest person in the world.' And then I'll do shows and people will be like, 'You're supposed to be so clean, but you're talking about cancer.'
Jim Gaffigan