Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.

You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.

There's this message to comedians in particular, that you shouldn't write it, and a television writer should write it. And that's a prevailing conventional wisdom that I think is really wrong. That's not to say that television writers aren't great, but I think that the belief that some comedy writer's going to be able to capture your voice is naive.

I never went to church when I was in college, either.

A lot of people are like, "You're doing commercials?" And I honestly feel like those Sierra Mist commercials are better than a lot of sitcoms I get offered. It's hard work, and I'm paid a lot of money, and I do it because I love the soda.

I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food growing up.

Gyms are always packed. The only machine available is the one that simulates the gynecological exam. You know, the Sharon Stone machine.