Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?

For me, it's always a little sad getting out of bed. Every morning after I get up, I always gaze longingly at my bed and lament, 'You were wonderful last night. I didn't want it to end. I can't wait to see you again.

I love the impatience of New York... You ever had somebody not ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know, like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time.

Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?

“Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn’t it be hysterical if we went bowling?”

I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.