Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.

Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers.

I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"

For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.

Jesus if you could cure our son's blindness that'd be great... And we'd love some shelves over there.

Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."