I don't want people to think I believe in God.

I worked on USA Today as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.

The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?

I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.