My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

I always had this romantic notion of living in New York. I just felt like, everyone could be different and weird and whatever they are in New York.

I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food growing up.

I realize I look very hip hop but I'm really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor.