Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.

Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.

Stand-up is so rewarding, and I enjoy the acting opportunities I've had, but the only time I really feel bad is when I feel like I have this manufactured belief that I should be doing something else or there should be some type of recognition. On an intellectual level, I know it's stupid.

It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

I told my son, who's 11, "Look, I don't care if you curse - it's other people that care." So we tried that experiment, and he just cursed all the time. And I was like, "All right, now I care that you curse." You try to have this idealized view, and it's like, "I don't care." But it's just going to cause chaos.