Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.

I think stand-up comedy is this - it's this kind of indulgence and narcissism.

What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"

I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.

There's a certain balance between finding an opportunity to do what you really enjoy and getting caught up in the flattery of people wanting you to do things.

Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.'