Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

I worked on USA Today as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

There's this message to comedians in particular, that you shouldn't write it, and a television writer should write it. And that's a prevailing conventional wisdom that I think is really wrong. That's not to say that television writers aren't great, but I think that the belief that some comedy writer's going to be able to capture your voice is naive.

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, "There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man."

I always had this romantic notion of living in New York. I just felt like, everyone could be different and weird and whatever they are in New York.