I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

New York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo. ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign."

Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.

I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.

Playing frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to chasing after a frisbee.