It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'

You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"

I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.

I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.

Manhattan's probably one of the bluest parts in the country, and Indiana's definitely one of the redder states. I have sympathy for both sides.

You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?

I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.