Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.
Jim GaffiganThe Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?
Jim GaffiganIt's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.
Jim Gaffigan