Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I'm a dad who had no idea what he's doing.

Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

I don't want to get involved in the culture war. Religion's iffy.

I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliché to carry around, because people don't consider stand-ups really actors.

There has been this belief among the Catholic community - and this - I'm no expert, this is my opinion - that cafeteria Catholics are wrong.