There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters.

Now the Thanksgiving meal is just so unnecessarily difficult. I mean even mashed potatoes - it's like the most difficult kind of, you know, medieval idea. All right, instead of just cooking them, why don't you spend, like, eight hours peeling them and then we'll have to mash them up. It feels like prison labor, really.

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia: 4-H.

How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.