There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters.

I don't understand the fashion industry and the appeal of it. I understand that there are some people who think it's important to them, and they're designers, they're artists, but there seems to be a disproportionate amount of our culture that's caught up in that and the red carpet stuff. It seems like there's a disproportionate amount of attention placed on that.

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

I have more pictures of my children than my father ever looked at me.

I left the Midwest thinking I didn't fit in. But when I got to New York, I realized how truly Midwestern I was.

There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?