You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

I feel like, even in this crazy world of Trump getting elected and these things that really kind of caught me off-guard, I feel like I understand less than I did.

When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.

What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

You didn't question - kind of like, you would go to college. You would wear a tie to work. You would, you know, you would work for 40 years. And then you would play golf for three years, and then you would die. That was how I was raised.

The reason I say I'm a horrible person is I don't want myself to be presented as somebody who's a great Catholic.