I don't understand the fashion industry and the appeal of it. I understand that there are some people who think it's important to them, and they're designers, they're artists, but there seems to be a disproportionate amount of our culture that's caught up in that and the red carpet stuff. It seems like there's a disproportionate amount of attention placed on that.

When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

The amount of guilt you deal with as a parent is pretty profound. It's a constant balancing act. I'm an ambitious person, but when I became a father, ambition had a different hold on me. Providing for my kids was important, but the superficial ambition drifted away.

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.

Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?