How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'

I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

I was still rooting for Notre Dame.It's like there's the cultural Catholic experience.

I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.

I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'

The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.