Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?

I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!"

I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.

Thanksgiving, you know - Thanksgiving - it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is we overeat.

People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."

There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.

Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?