When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
Jim GaffiganBabies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.
Jim GaffiganI should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane.
Jim GaffiganI'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'
Jim Gaffigan