Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate... being alone.

I don't want people to think I believe in God.

You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of - at least for me, there's some kind of idea of control.

I recently bought extreme chunky peanut butter. I opened it up.. .it was just peanuts. Wow that is extreme!

My wife and I, we work together. And we wrote this book, "Dad Is Fat." And in the book, I was encouraged constantly by my editor to be more personal and talk about more personal experiences.

I like to think of bread as really bland cake.

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.