I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.

Thanksgiving, you know - Thanksgiving - it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is we overeat.

Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."

Television's very much a writer's medium, as it probably should be, but if you're not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It's just kind of how it's constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don't want to come across as a jerk.