I've always been somebody that it takes me longer to learn things, but once I learn them... I'm like a quarterback that plays best in the fourth quarter.

I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food growing up.

When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.

That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.

My kids are so dramatically different, but it's not like I would trade one in or like there's one I would pick over the other ones. I know that sounds like I'm bullshitting. I also have five of them so I barely know them.

I left the Midwest thinking I didn't fit in. But when I got to New York, I realized how truly Midwestern I was.