Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.

Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

I never went to church when I was in college, either.

I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

I've been doing stand-up for so long, I think 19 years, that I love topics I can also expand on. Once I identify a topic like, say, seafood, which is a big one right now, it's like there are different kinds of tangents I can go on to build a larger chunk.

My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'

I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.