Weight Watchers says nothing tastes better than thin feels. I can think of a thousand things that taste better than thin feels.

I realize I look very hip hop but I'm really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor.

My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.

There are different parts of us. You want to feel safe but you want to also feel challenged.

I like to stay in a hotel where it's a dome of silence. I can sit in my room and do nothing.

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.