When people look and decide they have nothing in common with me - I'm 43, balding, blond, whatever - there's something absolutely invigorating about winning them over. Even if it's eight people from Sweden who don't understand what I'm talking about.

I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.

Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby.

I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy"... My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family." Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.

Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'

There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.