The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?

It took me a long time to understand not to get caught up in other people's expectations. It really comes down to creative fulfillment. It took me a while to realize I don't want to just be on a show to be on a show.

You ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! "Hey I got a - who cares."

Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?

Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."

My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.

There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.