Gyms are always packed. The only machine available is the one that simulates the gynecological exam. You know, the Sharon Stone machine.
Jim GaffiganYou ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! "Hey I got a - who cares."
Jim GaffiganI've been doing stand-up for so long, I think 19 years, that I love topics I can also expand on. Once I identify a topic like, say, seafood, which is a big one right now, it's like there are different kinds of tangents I can go on to build a larger chunk.
Jim GaffiganWhen I'm in touch with the idea that there is a higher power and that there is, you know, other factors at work, it - it kind of quells my narcissism.
Jim Gaffigan