The amount of guilt you deal with as a parent is pretty profound. It's a constant balancing act. I'm an ambitious person, but when I became a father, ambition had a different hold on me. Providing for my kids was important, but the superficial ambition drifted away.

There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

Ireland is a place that's beautiful and interesting, but I remember when I went there as a teenager with my parents, I was like, "Okay, I'll go to Ireland with my parents. It's going to be green." I think people underestimate it, in that it's, "Oh, it's green," and then you get there, and it's like, "Wow, it is green!" It's, "Oh, there's Irish music," and then you get there, and you're like, "Oh, this Irish music is amazing!" You underestimate it.

I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.

No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much.

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.